*Sigh*

He tells me it "feels so right"
and I fall for it.
He tells me that he has realized
how much he truly loves me
and I fall for it.
He tells me I have nearly
all the qualities he has ever wanted
in a wife
and I fall for it.
His earnest, hopeful face gazing at me,
how can I say no?
I know that face so well
and love him so deeply.
Thrusting aside all misgivings--
serious and urgent though they are--
I smile tenderly at him
and agree to become his girlfriend.

A few weeks down the road,
it is he who has the misgivings.
Doubts, he calls them,
and they are strong enough
for him to call off the relationship.
I cry myself to sleep,
relieved that he did the severing
but crushed that I have lost a dear friend.

I can hear his laugh so clearly,
his lips lightly brush my cheek.
His head rests on mine,
and his arms warmly enfold me.
Memories flood my mind
and I cannot escape them
though I try to with all my might.

The summer months are healing me
and his face starts to fade.
I think of him less and less
though still far more than anyone else.
I have decided that
he is someone I could never marry.
A far cry from how I felt a year ago.
And yet, I still adore him.
With all my heart, I love him,
his mannerisms, his hobbies,
his smile, his sensitivity.
And I realize I have a long way to go
before I can truly say he is
haunting me no more.