More musings about him

It's been two months. Two long, heart-healing, agonizing, tearful months since I last saw or talked to him. I have to fight the daily urge to contact him via facebook--to "poke" him, send him a quick comment, show him that I'm still alive and thinking about him.
School starts two weeks from tomorrow. The butterflies in my stomach are already going strong. What will I do when I see his handsome, sweetly familiar face for the first time in months? Part of me says that I will reservedly walk up to him and engage him in polite conversation. Another part of me says, "who are you kidding, Monica? You're going to barrel him over with an affectionate bear hug, scream, sigh, smile effusively, and barrage him with questions and exclamations." The former is excruciatingly painful to think about. I have never been one to be reserved around him; I was always exuberant and dramatic around him. Yet, the idea of hugging him and acting like nothing ever happened between us is painful in its own way. I can't pretend that we haven't been talking to each other this summer. I can't pretend that I don't still love him ardently. I can't hold back the overwhelming feelings that rush over me whenever I so much as catch a glimpse of his face. I can't--and shouldn't--try to resume the "buddy buddy" relationship we once had. Those days are over.
Now I understand why it takes people sooo long to "get over" someone they love.